There are times when I seem to drift and feel disconnected from everything and everyone. This usually happens when I am not being authentic and trying to be something I am not. When I search for meaning, understanding, connections or answers from outside of myself, I go wanting. All that I need is in me. The idea of God is inside every man, woman and child (AA Big Book reference there), so there is no need to look elsewhere.
This morning I woke up in a very good mood. The committee in my head was relatively quiet so my morning prayer and meditation time was peaceful, allowing me to make a good connection. The day was strolling along as I had a song in my head and a good feeling in my heart. Then I started thinking about a decision that I have pending. A pretty big one by most standards, which could, and probably will make a dramatic shift in my life. So the worry and fear started taking over.
It’s not that I can’t make the decision. I know that in conversation with God and some practical assessment, I can come up with the right answer for me. The challenge started to happen when I started considering what everyone else will think of my decision. Silly things raced through my mind, like what will others think if I don’t have the same title with this new opportunity, or make the same amount of money, or have the freedom as I do now? The truth is who cares what others think. I need to do what’s right for me. Not what I think other’s believe is right for me.
It’s easy for me to forget that I need to live the life that God has blessed me with; utilizing the unique skills and personality that He saw fit when creating me as a unique individual. I don’t have to think, act, believe or live like anyone else that I know. I just have to live the life that I know…mine.
Today I will live MY life!!