So often I find myself in the ‘if only’ game of life. If only I had a better job where they respected my talent, if only I had a boyfriend that loved me just the way that I am, if only I had…you can fill in the blank—-then I would be happy, then I would give more, then I would….again, fill in the blank. But why is it that I wait until something external happens before I am willing to make the change internally?
A professional football player doesn’t wait until he signs a multi-million dollar contract to start honing his craft and hitting the weights. A writer doesn’t wait until they sign a book deal to start flushing out their writing style and get their feel for their craft. A politician doesn’t wait until he knows there is interest in his candidacy before laying the groundwork for his run. So why is it that I think I am special, above the rules of the universe and can wait to change my actions until I see some extemporaneous result?
Change for me has to come from the inside first. My thoughts and beliefs and feelings about topics have to shift before I see it manifest in the world. This has been proven true to me over and over again, yet I still forget so easily and want things handed to me on a silver platter—without doing the work. But I know, like I know, like I know, that in order for change to manifest it must first be felt and thought and believed. So today, I will work on my visioning of what I do want in my life, and leave my current set of circumstances that don’t fit that ideal to someone else to ponder.
Today I will focus on what I want to become, not what I am, which is a result of what I used to think.