Give Me A Break

It is so much easier to cut someone else slack than it is to allow myself some grace. I have been on a six day a week workout cycle for nearly two and a half years, rarely missing that benchmark. But yesterday, I just wasn’t up to it, and am still struggling today with that decision. Sure, there are numerous reasons that make perfect sense as to why it didn’t happen: my body needed some additional rest, a very close friend in the hospital needed some attention, and I did a double workout on Monday. Yet none of these seem to be bringing me any relief.

I am fighting that fear of falling back into the sloth that dominated my life when I was active in my addiction. The stinkin’ thinkin’ in my head tells me that if I allow just a sliver of mercy and let up, all will come crashing down and a relapse is gonna sneak up on me and take me down. Why is it so easy for me to have compassion and mercy for others but not for myself? I think it might be time to do some work on being gentle with myself again, and not use such damaging, negative internal dialogue that I seem to be prone to.

Today is a new day, and I will focus on just today. Yesterday is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, so I will choose to live in today, just for today.

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One Response to Give Me A Break

  1. Debe Knaack says:

    Oh boy can I relate and I really did need THIS today!
    You’re an addict, not lazy! Give yourself permission to be HUMAN! “To error is human, to forgive Devine”! Pretend you are “a Sponcee”. Follow your own advice. “IT HAPPENS” (sometimes shit, sometimes just life)
    Your vehicle needs to be maintained, so do you! God gave you an amazing machine, your brain and your body. Give that beautiful creation an opportunity to DO the things it was designed to do!
    Maintain it! R&R Darlin’!!

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