The Cover Up

I was walking through the airport yesterday and noticed a dad carrying and dragging a bunch of luggage with his young son (probably 3 years old) trailing behind carrying his booster seat. Then it happened, WHACK, the boy hit another man’s bag that was passing in the other direction. At first, he just frowned with displeasure, but after a few seconds, out came the wail, along with real tears. I glanced back to see how long it would take the dad to recognize his son’s cry, a mere second or two. Then I realized something, how often do I feel displeasure but choose not to express it so freely like the little boy did?

There are times in my life when I need to be comforted, nurtured, acknowledged for the pain and discomfort I am feeling. Perhaps crying aloud at the airport is not the most appropriate spot to do so, but then again, that’s where a lot of my angst and frustration occurs. Allowing me to express when I am hurt is important to my overall mental health. Too often I cover up the pain and discomfort, and usually it comes out in the form of harsh judgment of others or anger directed at the wrong people. Why is it that I fail to express feelings of being hurt? Perhaps it has to do with not wanting to feel weak. Being afraid that if I show that tender side of me that longs for comforting, that I will be ridiculed, or worse yet in my mind, taken advantage of.

Allowing others to see my pain is the only way that they have an opportunity to help me to heal. If friends, family and loved ones don’t know that I’m hurting, how can they ever lend a helping hand? And isn’t that robbing them of an opportunity to give? So when I don’t allow others to see my pain, really, I am being selfish. And in turn, it results in adding more pain to the world as I allow my internalized hurt to result in judgment, criticism and hatred toward others.

Today I will express my true feelings and not cover them up.

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