Ahh, the joys and challenges of being a free agent. Sure, I asked for this to happen by sending rockets of desire into the universe for a change in venue, yes, I hoped it would happen and made contingency plans for such an event, but now that it’s here, I still have mixed emotions.
Most of you who read my blog know that I am a big fan of trusting God and knowing that I am under His protection and care. This means that my life is turning out, each day, exactly as He would have it. This is easy to accept when my own will is in line with God’s will. Or more accurately stated when God’s will matches up with mine! Nothing like saying you trust, then questioning the outcome of events.
I look at all the work I’ve done over the past three plus years and realize that a good part of that was preparing me for today. All those experiences add up to being at a level of acceptance of what is and reducing the amount of stress over that which I can’t control. It was pretty easy to do in theory; the reality is a bit more challenging.
I was speaking with someone about an opportunity for a partnership, where I would be my own boss, hire my own independent reps, and start my own business. When the response I received back a few days later wasn’t what I was expecting, I immediately went into spin mode: maybe I should have said this, if only I would have told him that, am I not good enough for them to be a partner. All of this was BS. What I really needed to grasp was the fact that God was saying, “no sir, that’s not your path, keep looking.”
When I finally realize that the Universe gives me an answer other than that which I expect, It is doing so to protect me and my interests. I have been very clear lately what my feelings are about what I want and trying to not be too specific about what shape or form that might look like. So when it doesn’t look like what I feel it should, doubt tends to creep in.
But thanks to the previously mentioned work on internal matters and connection to my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, there is much relief most of the time when I just do the footwork and leave the results up to Him.
Just for today, I will relax and know that I’m under His protection and care.