“In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” –Anthony Robbins
Relationships are work, period. I used to think that relationships just happened, and everything would be easy, natural, simple. It doesn’t matter what type of relationship I’m in, they all require work. But in the end, the satisfaction that my friendships, parenting, and mentoring give me, far outweigh any amount of effort I put in.
Many of you regular readers will no doubt remember me talking about the one year break from ‘husband-hunting’ that I did after my last relationship ended. When that 12 month reprieve was fast approaching this past fall, I realized how much I was enjoying being single and didn’t have that urge to be in a committed relationship. I’m now realizing perhaps it was God’s way of protecting me from another heartache.
Truth be told, I wasn’t ready for another relationship this past fall. I was still thinking that someone would come along and fix me. That there was a man out there that was going to come into my life, make me happy, and complete me, to borrow a really cheesy line from a Tom Cruise movie.
So the whole time that I was longing for a partner in the early stages of my one year sabbatical, what I was really hoping for is to find something (or someone namely) outside of myself to fill the God-sized hole I felt inside myself. So bascially anyone that would have come into a monogamous relationship with me at that time would have been walking into a doomed situation from the start.
I am just beginning to realize that it’s not what I can get from a partner so much as it is what I can give. Now I’m new to this concept and I’m sure there will be bumps along the path. But so long as I am willing to acknowledge this, and be willing to grow on this path, when God see fit to put the Universe in motion to have our paths cross, I will be more prepared and able to be an active participant in the duality.
I am grateful that God looks out for my well-being, especially when I don’t know what’s best for me. That fact gets played out every day in my life if I am just willing to see it. Like I’ve heard dozens of times, ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.’ But that saying seems a little cynical to me. I prefer, ‘if you want to make God laugh, tell him the outcome of your plans.’ Because we all need to plan in our life. To look at the end goal, see the steps that lead to it, and take the first step on that path is the only way to make your dreams a reality.
Just for today I will see what relationships I have now that could use a little more of my giving.