“Don’t take anything personally”
—-Don Miguel Ruiz The Four Agreements
It sure is easy for me to be full of faith, joy, and a giving spirit when things are going my way. But that’s not the only time when I am required to show grace, humility and perseverance. It’s days like today when I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut that I draw on the daily small deposits into that spiritual bank account for my strength.
Rejection sucks, especially when everything you feel is pointing toward yes. This week, the company that I had been coveting as my number one interviewed me. It went tremendously well and I was sure that an offer was imminent. So imagine my surprise when I received an email last night stating they were going with another candidate.
So yes, I was, and still am, sad, disappointed, and even a little pissed off. I know in my head that this too shall pass, that I need to trust God that He has a better plan for me. But sometimes that faith is pushed to the limits. I don’t think mine is at its limit, but dammit I hate when I get tested.
What I am realizing most of all, is that I have choice. I can choose to stay in this state of disgust, and wallow in self-pity for a while. After all, I don’t think anyone would deny me a day or two of that, now would they? Or, I can focus on all the blessings in my life, and there are a multitude of them, and move forward.
As entertaining as wallowing in pity may sound at times, it serves no purpose. Plus, if I truly believe that there is something better out there for me, then there must have been something beyond what I could see with this company that I was coveting. I have to trust that. And some thoughts have crossed my mind with respect to that.
But the truth is it comes down to the feeling of being rejected. Now I know that I shouldn’t take it personally, as my astute son pointed out this morning, ‘it isn’t your journey.’ What a wise young man he is.
So today I say to God, ‘ok, you have my attention again, just show me the next indicated thing and I will do it, I will follow, I will let you lead.’
Just for today I will let my thoughts be filled with the joyous expectation of more Good (thanks Ron).