In Good Times and Bad

“Don’t take anything personally”
—-Don Miguel Ruiz The Four Agreements

It sure is easy for me to be full of faith, joy, and a giving spirit when things are going my way. But that’s not the only time when I am required to show grace, humility and perseverance. It’s days like today when I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut that I draw on the daily small deposits into that spiritual bank account for my strength.

Rejection sucks, especially when everything you feel is pointing toward yes. This week, the company that I had been coveting as my number one interviewed me. It went tremendously well and I was sure that an offer was imminent. So imagine my surprise when I received an email last night stating they were going with another candidate.

So yes, I was, and still am, sad, disappointed, and even a little pissed off. I know in my head that this too shall pass, that I need to trust God that He has a better plan for me. But sometimes that faith is pushed to the limits. I don’t think mine is at its limit, but dammit I hate when I get tested.

What I am realizing most of all, is that I have choice. I can choose to stay in this state of disgust, and wallow in self-pity for a while. After all, I don’t think anyone would deny me a day or two of that, now would they? Or, I can focus on all the blessings in my life, and there are a multitude of them, and move forward.

As entertaining as wallowing in pity may sound at times, it serves no purpose. Plus, if I truly believe that there is something better out there for me, then there must have been something beyond what I could see with this company that I was coveting. I have to trust that. And some thoughts have crossed my mind with respect to that.

But the truth is it comes down to the feeling of being rejected. Now I know that I shouldn’t take it personally, as my astute son pointed out this morning, ‘it isn’t your journey.’ What a wise young man he is.

So today I say to God, ‘ok, you have my attention again, just show me the next indicated thing and I will do it, I will follow, I will let you lead.’

Just for today I will let my thoughts be filled with the joyous expectation of more Good (thanks Ron).

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One Response to In Good Times and Bad

  1. Debe says:

    Would this job have fulfilled what you believe is “your purpose” in life? Do you believe that it would have made you feel complete and happy? Or was it comfortable and a way for you to feel and show that you are successful? I agree with John, it wasn’t “right”, at this time.
    I don’t want to make this a semantics discussion, but please change the word expectation in your final statement, to HOPE. If you are expecting a specific result, there’s a strong likelihood that you are going to get hurt!!
    Self-pity? Are you willing to admit to yourself that your faith base isn’t strong enough to provide you with the ability to rise above this disappointment? I apologize if this sounds “unfeeling”. I have found that it is necessary for me, to be bigger than the BS life throws me.
    Step back, take a look at the situation from the outside. Don’t empathize, just look. Maybe that will “Change Your Perspective”.
    God is your partner in all of this and “God is good, all the time”!!

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