“We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.”
I like when things go my way. I find great satisfaction in anticipating what will happen and then seeing it occur. But if I went through life only with that which I expected to occur, I would have short-changed myself every step of the way.
I admit it; I’m a selfish guy who has a tendency for an air of superiority. I almost always think I have a solution to your problem, even if you don’t ask my opinion. And when someone doesn’t do what I suggest and things go awry, yep, you guessed it, I’m that @sshole that gives you a look like, ‘I told you so.’
Where’s the compassion in that? Where’s the basic humanity of wanting the best for everyone and when it doesn’t happen being sympathetic to their needs? Maybe this is why I have such a hard time believing that others want the best for me. I’m living under the false assumption that they have messed up thinking just like me.
But there is hope. Just recognizing this pattern of behavior, calling it out for what it is, and making a determination to take a different path is a huge step in the right direction. Physiologically it may take years for the brain synapses to find a different path. But that’s ok, all I have is time. That give-it-to-me-now-dammit attitude is what puts an overwhelming amount of stress in my life already, of which there are consequences; namely, but not exclusively, migraine headaches that have gained in momentum, frequency and intensity.
So perhaps there is a better way. Not having to run to the front of the line, demand more than I’m entitled, and expect others to treat me as terminally unique, after all, that’s what got me into a lot of trouble in the first place. No, not today, I’m not going to make unreasonable demands on others, but instead, wait patiently for my turn in line, and appreciate what I have, not demand what is yet to come.
Yes, today will be the first day of being right-sized, allowing God to work through me, as an instrument of His peace and grace. In order for me to do that, I need to step out of the way and allow Him to do His work.
Just for today, I will be a channel for God’s love and peace, understanding that I am simply a cog in His wonderful masterpiece called life.