“I keep telling people: Don’t make me the poster boy for AA because I don’t know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking.”
It still boggles my mind when I say it out loud, or type it on the screen to be technically correct. In just a few hours, I will be celebrating 9 years clean and sober. The amount of gratitude I have right now cannot be expressed in words.
Nine years is a long time. The funny thing is, most years when my birthday approaches, I’m well aware of it weeks in advance. This year, I booked a flight for my son to come and visit on 10/19, and it didn’t even dawn on me until a week later that it was my AA anniversary that day.
That was six or seven weeks ago.
So imagine my surprise last night when sitting on the couch watching TV that it came in like a jet plane, smacking me upside the head…it was my birthday in 36 hours!!
The number of blessings in my life are really too numerous to list here; everything from a freedom from fear (for the most part, I am human despite some opinions-mostly held by me ego) to a relationship with my son that was unimaginable a decade ago.
Now this isn’t to say that there weren’t bumps in the road, obstacles and difficulties to living a life of happy destiny; they have been numerous. But each time I am faced with a challenge, when I walk through it in faith (and waffle a bit with that along the way, requiring some outside reminders from good friends) the other side seems so much freer than before.
I won’t sugarcoat it; it’s been tough work. When you have decades of pain that wasn’t felt or dealt with, but rather drowned out and drugged up, a dose of reality without the elixir is bound to cause some hiccups. But by watching healthy behavior, listening to those who walked through similar situations in faith, and knowing that a God of my understanding is always there to protect and encourage me, nothing has been too tough to handle.
So this year for my birthday I don’t have to look back at the previous one with angst, which was the case one year ago. But rather I can look forward to whatever the year holds (or doesn’t), One Day at a Time.
Just for today I will be grateful that I am a child a God, and know it.