“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”
There comes a time when the tank starts to run on fumes. There is nothing left to give and you have to dig deep to be able to eke out the simplest of tasks. I’ve learned to be in tune with my body and mind to know when the well is starting to run dry and it’s time for a recharge.
After an incredibly busy week, Sunday morning arrived with but a hint of the energy level I needed to accommodate my calendar for the day. A long overdue movie date with my man was something I wasn’t willing to compromise on. An invitation to a friend celebrating his 33rd AA birthday wasn’t to be taken lightly either. So I made the next logical choice, stay home and rest rather than attend church.
Sacrilege!! Scoundrel!! Heathen!!!
Ok, it wasn’t quite THAT bad. But being Moderator (i.e. President of the Congregation) it is sometimes difficult to overcome the guilt I can feel for not being present every Sunday that I am able.
But right there is the catch. Being present. If I were to show up and not be present because there just wasn’t anything to give, how much good would I be doing? So I decided to stay home and rest.
The amazing part of listening to your mind, body, and intuition, is that it always leads you in the right direction.
My partner and I watched a recorded episode of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. The guest was Mark Nepo and he was fantastic. The segment was so moving I was brought to tears, mostly of joy, and was able to share an intimate memory with my man.
As Mark shared of one of his life experiences, it moved Oprah to tears and both of us as well. Immediately I thought of the day that I walked into First Church for the very first time, took communion and started sobbing uncontrollably when I returned to my seat. I heard the faintest of voices, which I believe was God speaking directly to me, that said, ‘Welcome Home.’ And it felt as if a thousand hands were laid upon me to comfort me.
Being able to share that moment with my partner and remember the powerful experience of my first voluntary visit to a church in my entire life was well worth staying home for. It was exactly what my soul needed at that time.
Just for today I will remember to listen for the quiet, yet powerful voice of God that resides inside of me.