May I Check That For You?

“So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.”
—Ellen DeGeneres

Ok, I admit it. I used to be addicted to drama. If there was a tussle to get in the middle of, count me in. If there was no drama I’d create it or fabricate it, whatever it took to be in a familiar place.

I can genuinely say that I look forward to spending time with my family this holiday season. Not for anything that I can get out of the experience, but rather what I can give. And I’m not talking about material things. Sure, there are some presents I am giving that reflect my love for them. Very heartfelt and caring presents.

I could go on and on about the dynamics in my family and how they lent themselves to creating drama, but the truth is, the last few years, there really hasn’t been any.

Often I hear about families where one person is the hub of the wheel and all the other members are spokes. More often than not that center that keeps the pieces together is the matriarch. So perhaps in my family with our mother passing at young age, this lent itself to the contentiousness that ensued.

It took the passing of our sister to aide everyone in taking stock of their life, the fact that it is fleeting at best, and that there is no time like the present to enjoy and value your family.

So on the Monday before Christmas, I would like to thank God that he was gentle enough in His ways to help all of us come to our senses and put aside petty differences and allow us to express the love we have for each other.

And the most ironic part of all, once I became aware of my familiarity with drama, it no longer held the allure that it once did. And as such, I can be present for my family and for my partner in ways I never could have imagined.

Just for today I will be grateful for an expanding self-awareness.

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