And a One, And a Two

“…I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I had to do it for a lifetime.”
—Just For Today

I was sitting in the airport this morning, a bit bleary-eyed, and I noticed my mind spinning out of control. I was continuing the mapping of the next 3,582 hours in my life I had begun in the shower, and what challenges I might encounter and how to overcome each one of them. Welcome to my brand of insanity.

And then it struck me: my life doesn’t unfold one month, one week, or even one day at a time, but rather one moment at a time. So what was I being asked to do in this moment, right here, right now. A sudden wave of calm washed over me and I felt serenity that had escaped me the last few days. But alas, the moment was fleeting.

The only way I know how to engrain valuable lessons into the core of my being, is to acknowledge them, and write about them. The tactile sense of memorilizing those moments that bring me profound realizations is a sure-fire way to exponentially increase the odds of remembering them and being able to draw upon them in the future.

It’s not that I don’t learn quickly, the challenge is that my mind overconsumes, and in doing so, I easily forget, even that which serves me the most.

Doing things over and over and expecting different results is one way to define insanity. So today, rather than beating myself up for ending in the same place (confused, overwhelmed, burdened) I choose to acknowledge being here before, and pulling on my resources to implement actions that have worked in the past. It’s not that I have to relearn the lesson, just remember my path out of the quagmire. And for this, I am feeling very grateful.

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